
A Light in the Dark
by Kenneth M. Adams; Mary E. Meyer; Culle L. Vande GardeBuy New
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Summary
Adult children who grew up with a parent who had a sexual addiction are left confused, ashamed, and mistrustful regarding the feelings and boundaries surrounding sex, love, and intimacy. Because of the inappropriate sexual behavior by a parent, and the victimization of the other parent, these adults carry sexual secrets, have divided loyalties, and are often caught in the middle of their parents’ struggles. Having witnessed (or known of) affairs, walked in on a parent masturbating or viewing pornography, received extreme or shameful messages regarding sexuality or gender, experienced sexualized remarks about their bodies, been neglected as a result of the addiction, or were modeled extreme moral values (either too permissive or shaming), these adult children of sex addicts (ACSAs) struggle with their sexuality and longings for love.
ACSAs have not had their stories told in any significant way in the recovery literature. Intergenerational trauma is transmitted through the legacy of carried sexual shame—the burden of which is not theirs. Their shame and struggle has often been wedged under various umbrellas of identification: adult children of alcoholics, love avoidant, codependent, sex addict, love addict, and others. A Light in the Dark offers hope by unburdening ACSAs by sharing the experiences of others, as well as examining the characteristics, roles and recovery that point toward freedom and joy that they rightfully deserve.
Author Biography
Mary E. Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, is a couples and family therapist and executive director of Full Heart Family Therapy in Ankeny, Iowa. She is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and a Developmental and Relational Trauma Therapist. Dr. Meyer is dedicated to helping families heal from the effects of sex addiction and intergenerational family trauma. For more on Dr Meyer visit www.fullheartfamilytherapy.com.
Culle L. Vande Garde, LCSW-S, CSAT is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and founder of Dallas Center for Relational Healing in Dallas, Texas. She is passionate about assisting ACSAs heal from the impact of growing up with a sexually addicted parent. For more information visit www.CulleVandeGarde.com.
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